Lesbianism
by Sincerely Vuitton
Summary: Sakura Haruno hates boys. She also hates bras, mini-skirts, tote bags and frilly Chihuahuas dressed like dog mannequins. But she most especially hates Sasuke Uchiha for being seductive, cute, sexy and arrogant. Damn him to hell. SASUSAKU. On Hiatus.
1. Chapter 1: Transferred?

**Lesbianism  
**_A process in which a woman, in her homosexuality stage, gets her hormones twisted in to some sort of male genes. _

Summary: Sakura Haruno **hates **boys. She also hates bras, mini-skirts, tote bags and frilly Chihuahuas dressed like dog mannequins. But she most especially hates Sasuke Uchiha for being seductive, cute, sexy and arrogant. Damn him to hell.

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Naruto, I never did anyways.

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**Chapter 1: **Transferred?

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A girl with layered cut and whole bangs, rebelliously _shouted _(she means well) at the two older _people _standing before her.

A woman at the age of forty with light red tresses and amazing blue eyes, stood with hands clasped and her blue eyes kept themselves from watering. She never had a daughter this... _bad. _And Sakura was bad, as in really bad, as in super really—okay you pretty much get our point.

Along with the woman, there was an old man as well, he had burnt chestnut hair and seaweed green eyes. His look was stern, not angered; pissed, but not too pissed.

He couldn't believe

_it._

—He just heard the news that his daughter's

_Precious baby girl, _

Was a lesbian—

_..._

_All lies!_

They're all fuckin' _lies!_

_Ahem, _anyways, being the concerned and —coughcough— kind of daddy he is, he transferred her to a school, _public _school.

Nope, not anymore Otogakure All-Women's School,

—she's going to Konoha _Men _and Women Rehabilitation High School.

_Rehabilitation _short for... _Rehab... _in other words... MENTAL PLACE.

Believe her she's not craaazy,

—just pretty stupid for enjoying a woman's kiss.

"We're leaving tomorrow, pack you bags young lady, this talk is not finished." Her so called _daddy _(can't blame him for having a homosexual daughter... _dun, dun, dun..._)

"DADDY! I am NOT GOING TO THIS STUPID MENTAL SCHOOL. This place is for autistic freaks!"

Her mother, Shinuu, finally got over her fear of her daughter, _that's Sakuraexwwyeiyeuychsgfphobia, _and answered her daughter's call, "Hun, please leave us alone for awhile, Sakura needs to talk to me."

Her father narrowed his emerald pearls, and left without a word. Slamming the door behind his back.

Sakura threw her red and black converse down to the floor and busted her head on her pink-striped pillows. Mumbling _insignificant _curses, while her mother rubbed her back soothingly.

"Honey, please, you have to understand."

She muffled her tears.

_(What the hell?)_

"Momma, if you _really _understand me, you have to let me stay in Oto," she faced her mom, her eyes puffy and red. Her bangs were messed and her hair were a disaster. She looked as if she had a bad break-up.

_Well, _she did.

Flashback

Andy; a very _tomboy-ish _girl with boy-cut hair and emo bangs hanging at the right side of his—I mean _her, _her face.

Damn, whatta tomboy.

You girls would think she's hot too.

She could make _boys _uber jealous.

Anyways, _Andy _was a lesbian as well.

Fell in love with Sakura,

—and the next thing you knew she was grinding her

during the High School Dance.

_Kissing _her as well.

So for starters they got together, and tell ya what, they were inseparable.

No one, and I mean **not one living cell **could keep them apart (all thanks to Andy).

Until, _fer shur, _they had to break up.

Cuz Sakura—frankly,—she had to _leave, _she had to leave everything.

Her friends. Oto High. _Andy. _

She had to go through the worse—and only, break-up she had.

"Andy... I'm leaving..."

"Saks..."

"..."

For the first time, _ever _she cried, and grabbed Sakura by the arm and hugged before she left for good.

Aww.

_Not. _

_Girl, you need to move on and find a guy with penis. _

Grrr.

_((end of flashback))_

"Please honey, we need you to cooperate, we need to...uh—straighten... your life."

...

...

_Fine._

Grr.

"But I won't like it."

Her mother smiled genuinely, and hugged her tight.

"Before we leave hon, we need to do some shopping so come on."

_Shopping? Tch. Ew. _

"Why momma? Its not like we're burning my old clothes."

Her mother giggle slyly. And turned to face her daughter with ease. "Honey... Well we are."

...

—WHAT?

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! DAMN YOU!"

Momma's smile turned in to a disappointed frown, raising her pointer finger in the air and whipping it side to side. "Nuh-uh, no cursing. Remember, a lady does not curse."

Grr.

_That's a strike three._

"Ugggggh. _Fine, _but no buying of skirts, dresses, pink stuff, bras—"

"Honey, you are a lady and you need a bra."

...

_Twitch. _

_..._

"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE BOOBS!"

Her mother sighed, _hopeless, hopeless Sakura-Chan. _

"Honey, you basically have D-cups."

_Urghh. _

"Come here honey, look at this place, it's all so pretty!"

For the rest of the day, it went on like this over and _oooveeeer. _They brought like, four pairs of pants, three dresses, five heels, two converse (with Sakura's pleads), three shirts, two pairs of shorts and one, _ONE _mini-skirt.

"Oh dear I almost forgot... Lingerie!" She pulled Sakura to Victoria's Secret store, sight-seeing all the bras and underwear hanging off the clothes rack.

Mrs. Haruno was very eccentric, she swapped almost everything, just not _everything, everything, _just _almost _everything.

"Alright that's nine bras, two boxes panties. That'll be forty-five ninety-nine, ma'm." The cashier smiled, Sakura stayed quiet, ignoring the fact she was in a lingerie store. Her momma buying her bras and panties.

_This transferring thing has to be worth everything._


	2. Chapter 2: Hot? Not so Cool

**Lesbianism**

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own, NARUTO.

**Author's Notes: **Chapter two is up and you're definitely going to **love **this one. Well, I hope you do. I was really pumped (I was in a fair, and rode in a ride called _Octopus, _like four times) when I made this supaah cute chapter.

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**Chapter Two: **Hot? Not too Cool.

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Haruno Sakura, full time lesbian (she prefers the term, _lesbi_) and landing her ass in **Konoha Men and Women Rehabilitation School, **a school (which_she_thinks) that has autistic people written all over it.

Now (_today_), she leaves her beautiful home, filled with memories.

_Sigh. _

Life sucks, damn.

"Sakura, let's go." She packs the last of her things and blow-_kissed _her old bedroom goodbye.

She grabbed her duff bag and rolling bag, _and purse _(blame momma), while stopping the tears before it got worse. Damn, _I hate leaving... and mental people. _

Her father packed their stuff and got to Konoha in the next four hours.

...

"This is Konoha?"

Sakura looked around the gardened-beauty.

_Flowers, _

_Grass, _

_Cherry blossoms (much to her dismay) _

_And did she mention flowers?_

How... girly.

She's living in this damn place?

_Stupid. _

She grabbed her tote bag, _purse_, and stormed in the house.

The main area was a living room with a burgundy couch and two matching chairs facing the plasma screen TV. Under it was a light, rose-coloured rug, on the walls were paintings, family pictures and large, glass frame windows.

She ran up the _swiiiirly _stairs and ran to the room with large, golden plated letters, "SAKURA" spelling all out on the mahogany, door.

"Holy..."

She glanced up on her room.

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYUUUUUM, THIS IS MY ROOM! MY ROOM, MIIIIINE!"

_Okay, _so you're wondering what her room looks like then it's, really nice.

Her room had a queen sized bed, a TV plastered on the purple-polka-dotted wall. On the west was the bed, facing the TV; while on the north was big window glass. Decorating the bed was red blanket sheets and light rose pillows, while the whole room was colourful; a large closet for clothes, an apartment for shoes, racket for holding jackets and bags, an area for books, and bean bags in different shades of colours. And the desks were wooden designed with their own lampshade. Next to the bed was a small drawer holding a lampshade and an alarm clock. On the east was a door, leading in to a bathroom; with a shower room and sink and toilet and everything.

She jumped on the bed, _over-excitedly _and hugged the nearest pillows.

"MIIIINES, ALL MINES! STAY AWAY FROM MA ROOM."

...

_Let's skip to the, __**the next day **__part. _

RINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!

"Huh? Huh? What the hell do you WAAANT!" She jumped off of bed and made a gun shape out of her hands, aiming it at the area where the sound is coming from.

She finally caught noise, which was her adorable alarm clock, shaking from the too much constant ringing.

"Oh... You," she grabbed the shivering clock and glared daggers at it, "well thanks for waking me up from my beauty dream,"

Basically, that is how _she rolls. _

Every single _day._

...

"Okay, so I should take a bath now." She skipped to her sky-blue bathroom and practically tripped (_Trip? I didn't trip! I was just testing gravity_) before sinking in the hot water from the shower.

The cool (_or well, hot_) and relaxing steam water came in dripping, from her pink locks to the tip of her red, pedicure toes.

She grabbed her _Lavender and Rose essence shampoo_ and squeezed out a handful of sticky substances; spreading all over her hair.

Then she comes to her raspberry soap; which she rubs over her pale, alabaster skin.

Stepping out of the shower, wet and clean, she shakes her head (_left to right_) and spills small drips of water was fallen all over the sink.

Okay so she's finished blow-drying her hair (_after like... an eternity_), she opened the large wardrobe and pulled out a pair of skinny jeans and tucked in her red checkered polo shirt.

And on the shoes place—_thingy, _she grabbed her blue and pink Zoo York and headed off downstairs, (_so she can grab her favourite strawberry pop tarts, that's for sure_).

Glancing at the adorable (_yet,_mean,ugly_and__**not**_sofun) alarm clock and looked at its digits flashing in neon green.

7:44AM

"What time does that rehab school start again..? Eight, or... ah, eight-thirty!"

...

"EIGHT-THIRTY, SHIT!"

She grabbed her purple JanSport—which was completely empty and started filling it with her notebooks, her books and her Blackberry.

"Okay, okay so what did I forget... Uh, uh... ah, PENS!"

She managed to grab the nearest pens and pencils—which she didn't sharpen, but she'll have to borrow someone's later—and a Scientific calculator, (_just in case her math problems are harder than diamonds_).

Since her mom was a _total _feminine fertile, her mom convinced her to carry a vanity case with her; filled with Oil wipes, tissues, napkins, wipes, a toothbrush and tooth paste. Oh, and a comb and brush.

So she stuffed all of it in the bag, ignoring the mess she's making in the bag.

Grabbing one of the straps of the bag, she quickly dashed her way down the _swiiiiiirly _stairs and slid herself on the bar stool.

"Mom, is my pop tarts ready?"

Her mom turned from her cooking and eyed her messy daughter.

"Honey, there's a thing called a brush, you should use it."

Sakura groaned and pulled the brush from her bag and constantly _brushed _her hair, making her look ten times nicer.

"There, it looks prettier on you dear. And here (_hey that rhymes_), it's a watch, you should use it once in a while." She threw the red watch in air and Sakura caught it with ease.

Sakura placed the watch on her left wrist and it fit perfectly.

After a while, her mom grabbed a white plate and placed the perfectly cooked pop tarts in set in her right hand. On her left, was a glass of orange juice.

"Here, eat up."

Sakura was definitely _un_-ladylike and gobbled up the pop tarts in a flash, like in a few seconds. And pray tell; it was definitely not normal.

The O.J. was next, and one, two, three... empty, like magic.

So she's like a boy, only, that she was a girl, which is confusing.

She dashed off the door and ran to the left side of the street—she stops and thinks. Where was Konoha Men and Women Rehabilitation School again?

She believes (or _thinks_) it was in the corner of Natusumuki street and Junko street, but where the hell was that?

_Run, _

_Panic_

_And thump. _

_Wait—thump? _

"Ow, shit sorry, I was really hurry-_ing _and I'm lost and I'm new and I'm babbling-" She looked up to the suspicious man and damn was he... well—hot!

...

Sakura was ogling while he was pokerface-_ing _Sakura with obsidian orbs, staring down to her very soul.

...

"Well, this is getting... Awkward. Uh, yeah so, do you know how to get to Konoha Men and Women Rehabilitation School?"

He smirked and boy was it—oh so sexy!

"Hn, make sure to watch your ass before it hits anything else."

...

...

WELL THAT WAS **RUDE.

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OWARI  
_((.endofchaptertwo.))_


	3. Chapter 3: Ten Hours and Counting

**Lesbianism**

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Naruto.

**Author's Notes: **HAHA, okay so I shouldn't be laughing. Sorry for taking so long. You know what sucks? Long tests, projects and math. Yeah, blame math and the problems. So don't go flaming me, cuz' I took too long. Aaaand, I am also very sorry because that this chapter is short or too ugly for your keeping. Don't kill me and I'll give you a cookie. So, read&review and I'll love you forever.

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**Chapter Three: **Ten Hours and Counting...

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Diary: Today is June 17, and my theme is: **not so amazing at the moment.**

Sasuke Uchiha: That's his name right? Well he fucking called me a huge ass and started dragging me all the way to school. Other than that he was very sexy when he smirked (**IF ONLY THAT STICK UP HIS HEINY WOULD BE PULLED OUT, **and then he'll have a nicer attitude than a stubborn bastard).

I know being the overreacted bitch I am, I still have the right to be quiet, 'cuz, I didn't know this guy. And of course he didn't like me for BUMPING HIM ACCIDENTALLY. And besides, I was the one who **FELL** and not him.

Considering that he's not black-eyed and he's not limping, I let him live—for a while, that is, if he could keep is cool before I grind his ass in the shredder and place his grave on top of a mountain and dance.

Yeah, I can be **COOOOOL **like that.

So anyways, after he was introduced by me (_which was blonde kid who had blue eyes and a very wide grin, like Chesire_), I met the rest of their _gang. _Well they weren't a gang, they were only four. So I consider them as a small gang.

(_Add a smiley face up there_)

Ino Yamanaka, who gave me her number and e-mail address and the blonde boy, Naruto Uzumaki, who practically called Sasuke, _teme _every single day; and they were best friends for GOD'S FOR SAKEN.

Oh and add Sasuke Uchiha, the guy with the raven coloured hair (_that was shaped like a chicken's ass, totally matching his personality_) and pretty obsidian eyes. But don't be fooled, he has the attitude of an I-don't-care-who-dies-leave-me-alone-in-this-cruel-cruel-world person.

And did I say; he has a stick up his friggin' ass?

Love:  
Sakura-Chaaanaro.

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**During Computer Class...**

**(2 Unread E-Mails)**

To: **prettynotpinksakura**  
From: **chocolatefrostedandy**

Hey,

How is the school there? You know, the rehab school you're talking about. Are you missing me? And God, please reply back. It's getting lamer here in school than ever.

So, how about we meet at Starbucks this Saturday, I'll just have to skip just for you.

-Andy.

To: **prettynotpinksakura**  
From: **beachblonde**

SAKURAA!

I heard you were e-mailing instead of listening to Hatake-Senpai, he's really boring and late at times. But, I do hope you will enjoy your stay here at school. This place is really nuts at times, but you'll get used to the fact that you're studying with a bunch of freak shows.

So anyways, what got you here in the first place? I was sent here because I don't study.

Reply Back,

_Ino_

To: **beachblonde**  
From: **prettynotpinksakura**

INOOOO!

Yes I was e-mailing, I was also face-booking and I was snoring (YOU GET THE IDEA). Hatake is boring, but I tend to listen. I am so lucky I get to have Technology Livelihood Education as my first subject. I tend to have my Blackberry and laptop as my best friends.

I think I can live with the fact that weirdos are living in this hell hole. I just _hope _to God I'll be able to live.

Uh, yeah so it's a long story why I got transferred here; two words:

Tomboy.

'**Till the sun never shines, **

SAKURA

P.S.—You're considered as my cool friend now, so better not tell anybody about this.

P.S.S.—Have you ever wondered what P.S. means?

P.S.S.S.—A friend of my old school just asked me to uh... a date (_kind of like a friend date_) this Saturday, what should I say?

To: **prettynotpinksakura**  
From: **beachblonde**

YOU'RE A LESBO!

WOW, I THOUGHT... THEY DON'T EXIST.

And tomboy is one word, forehead.

Hey by the way I just noticed that you have a very large forehead, so **forehead **is now my new nickname for you! I hope you like it.

From the beachy blondie,

_Ino_

P.S.—I'm your cool friend? Better to call me _best _friend for a while, and duh, of course I won't tell, I am not crazier than it looks like.

P.S.S.—I have no idea.

P.S.S.S.—OMG! IS THAT ONE OF YOUR GIRLFRIENDS? You should totally say yes and invite me over; it might just be more exciting than it looks like.

To: **chocolatefrostedandy**  
From: **prettynotpinksakura**

**ANDY! OH GOD YOU E-MAILED ME, DARLING!**

OMG, I totally, really, really missed you guys! I wish you were here!

KMAWRS, is really... Well, I couldn't actually say something about this rehab school, but there were really nice people. And some people are just not nice, like the guy who told me that I should move my ass for him to earn space. I mean, my ASS IS NOT THAT BIG.

So how's Oto, is it still the same without me, or are you just... uh, improvising? Haha, so I think I can go IF one of my friends would be able to come.

I MISS YOU TOO.

And I loves ya too.

'**Till the sun never shines, **

Sakura

P.S. Do you by any chance know what the meaning of P.S. is?

* * *

RIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGG!

Everybody knows that, that _ring _will be the end of an hour and of a really boring (_or sometimes fun_) subject period.

"Hmm... Biology, what the... I hate Bio, I told mom to NOT put me in this subject," she groaned in frustration, looking around for the Bio Room.

As she walked in the bio room, she found the least person to be there.

Wow, Uchiha Sasuke.

...

Amazing.

"Ahh, miss Haruno, please, please, sit next to Sasuke." The pretty teacher ushered me to a seat (_third row; next to the window; the seat next to the chicken ass_) and continued her lecture about the human anatomy.

"And so after the white blood cells travel to the arteries, they flow up to the heart which goes over again and again like a process." The pretty teacher said, I think her name's... Karine? Korine? Ahh, Kurenai. Well... She was pretty much like me.

Hah.

Just kidding.

...

_I have got to stop talking to myself, it's getting unusual. _

_**Hell yes. **_

_..._

_And who are you?.. Wait, never mind. _

"Miss Haruno, please tell me what you're thinking about, you look quite dazed."

I looked up to her crimson eyes and saw her face confused, I smiled back and looked at her nicely.

"I... I was just thinking. Sorry about that, uh, continue."

She laughed, along with the whole class, "Dear, the bell just rung, you're supposed to go now."

The chicken assed man laughed and chuckled darkly, "Sorry about that Kurenai, Pinky here was travelling around her personal universe."

...

_Oh hell no, hell no he did not just..._

_Fuck!_

She sat down quietly and bitch-slapped the boy down to the ground.

The man stood up and looked up to her with a _you-are-in-deep-shit-at-lunch _glare. He grabbed his book bag and left the room, slamming the door behind his back.

She was sorta (_maybe a little scared shitless_) and she would not admit it.

The whole class looked at her with bowling balls for eyes. She glanced at them, and then returned to her sympathetic look. The teacher was also shocked.

I mean, everyone was thinking the same thing and it was _you wouldn't want to mess with Uchiha Sasuke or you're going to fucking get it. _

They all were scared for her, _the new girl. _She obviously didn't get the system of this school. And this school's number 1 rule is:

**Never mess with Uchiha Sasuke. **

But you know this girl; this girl had pink hair and large forehead. So she didn't care and blames the world for why she had this shitty pink hair. So ever since she met Andy, she plays by her _own _rules. She does not care.

"Don't look at me with those pathetic looks, he effin' started it! SO LET HIM BE THE EMO BOY HE IS."

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**Last Author's Note: **Sorry about the white blood cells part, so I just made that up. Hey, don't forget to review.


	4. Chapter 4: PWND! To Hell With Ya!

**Lesbianism**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto; I only own the plot and storyline. Not the characters, so don't sue me because I don't own them.

**Author's Notes: **Here is chapter four, think of this as a Christmas gift. And what do I want for Christmas you ask? Well, all I want is reviews! And those adorable Louis Vuitton Sneakers and Black Ankle Boots from Zara, hehe, but I'll appreciate those reviews, promise. Oh before you read this, watch out for the Sasuke OC's.

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**Chapter Four: PWND! To Hell With Ya! **

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RING.

The bell rung just in time, and Sakura was the first to come out. Stomping her feet and almost making the wooden floors crumble. Students feared her monstrosity, some were too distracted. The others were still fixing their stuff and shoving their items in their bags.

Rushing out to the door, leaving the red-eyed teacher to her desk, dumbstruck. The pink-eyed beauty (_slashlesbian_) just remained to her _stompy _issues and headed out finding for the blue-eyed blond (_slashdumbandidiotic_) talking to a brunette with two buns on her head and long dark haired, pearl-eyed girl.

Before arriving to the blond, another (_idioticandreallydumb_) blond came running to her with a grin of a clown.

"Yes Naruto? Could you hurry this up?" This was just not her day.

"Hey about that _scene _during biology, uh, that was just...

...

**JUST SO FREAKIN' HILARIOUS! GOD DAMNIT, I LOVE HOW YA PWND SASUKE TO THE FACE!" **

She laughed wholeheartedly. She definitely enjoyed his amazing company.

"Thanks Naruto, so is it okay if I come to lunch with you?" Her voice can sound as if she was begging for food.

"Well of course, Sakura-Chan! You can sit next to Ino for protection!"

_Or for Sasuke's protection, just in case she gets too pissed. _

Sh giggled. Just giggled, but little did Naruto know, she was plotting something...

* * *

"Thanks again for bringing me to my locker Naruto, you too Ino." She smiled as she opened locker 143 (_lockercombonumber436122132_) and grabbed her books. She shoved her Biology book, notebook and periodic table to the tob shelf of her rusty, a hundred-year-old locker and grabbing her Math and History book to her bag.

"So, what did Sasuke do to make you so pissed anyway, Sakura?"

_Slam!_

"What did he do? HE FUCKING CALLED ME AN ASS BEFORE I EVEN GOT TO SCHOOL AND NOW... NOW HE CALLS ME PINKY AND TELLS THE WHOLE DAMN CLASS THAT I WAS TRAVELLING TO MY OWN FUCKING UNIVERSE!"

Ino tried to stifle a laugh, hiding her giggles with her hands.

"STOP LAUGHING!"

Punching her locker door, she moved away from the two blonds, while they followed eagerly behind her. She was still pissed, but she couldn't help but slower her pace so the two blonds would be able to talk to her.

A pregnant silence was growing bigger as they walked further to the tempura-smelling cafeteria.

"You know Sakura, Sasuke might like you for a reason." Naruto suddenly burst out. Two pairs of eyes widened at the statement.

After a few seconds, (_female_) blue eyes lit up with excitement, fully understanding the (_male_) blond. "Naruto, I hate to admit this, but I think you are fucking right!"

Emerald orbs stared at the two blonds.

_What the fuck? Hell no!_

"You guys have to fucking kidding me! I will never, never like that stick-up-his-ass—"

_"And who is this 'stick-up-his-ass' hm, pinky?" _A husky voice came from behind, wrapping muscular arms around a rosette's petite and slim waist.

_Grrrr. _

_Damn him. _

_Damn him to hell. _

_

* * *

_

"So as I was saying, Shikamaru came up to me—"

_God, Ino, I love you as a friend but please shut up. _

"—I heard him say, _beautiful, troublesome woman, _and I was like—"

_Oh God, why didn't I bring my iPod? Grr, stupid Ino's ranting. _

_"_—And he kissed me and he gave me his number, and during Lit we were like_ sexting _and—"

_Woah, woah, woah there blondie. Did you just say, **sexting? **_

___..._

___..._

___That's like... HOT!_

"You mean to tell me you were sexting during class?" Ino nodded her head eagerly. Sakura's jade eyes widen.

"Hell no!"

Sasuke (_interruptedannoyingly_) muttered and smirked, "Wanna try it sometime, pinky?"

...

...

_Twitch. _

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME! HELL NO! WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO DO _IT _WITH YOU!_" _

His smirk grew even wider, his eyes had a glint of mischievous(_ness_) in them.

"I'm not saying that we could do _sexting, _maybe even e-mail sex, or we could do it traditionally, like in the janitor's close or so—"

"EXCUSE ME? BUT I AM NEVER GOING TO TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU CUZ... C-CUZ—"

"Because what, pinky?"

"CUZ I'M A L-LES... L-LESBIAN... YEAH, LESBIAN! SO BACK OFF!"

...

"AND STOP CALLING ME PINKY!"

Sasuke's obsidian orbs were from lustful looks to widened ones. His face grew pale, the others listening were in _le gasps _mode, while Naruto's face was like _what the fuck? _and Ino's face was just blank, while chewing on her salad (_cuzsheneededit_).

"You mean to tell me that (_beautifulsexyashell_) girl with (_softandsilky_) pink hair and (_mesmerizing_) green eyes, is a lesbian for God's sake?" Sasuke challenged her, tilting her chin so he can see that (_amazinglygorgeous_) face of hers.

"Y-YES!"

Letting down her chin, he gazed into her eyes, absorbing everything that was hidden under embed, sea-green eyes. Who knew they could speak so much of her?

"You're quite interesting, _cherry blossom, _it's really rare to find a girl like you..."

"What is that suppose to—asdfghjkl..."

He quickly captured her beautiful nude colored lips into his, tasting it withing four seconds (_don't blame him if he counted_). He tasted strawberries, and a tad bit of tempura sauce.

_That was definitely delicious, _he thought lustfully, letting go of her taste and walking away to the double doors.

* * *

Sasuke, I tell you, is very intelligent. And he awfully loves a good challenge. And Sakura for him, was a challenge that made him go crazy. She was like a... a brick wall. She's definitely hard to crack, but Sasuke is prepared.

Sasuke loves girls like these, and he hasn't seen those kinds of girls in ages, and this girl was perfect.

_Smart. _

_Sexy. _

_Delicate. _

_And yet, she was so demanding. _

"She's amazingly... Unusual."

He said aloud as he leaned at the oak trees. He closed his eyes for a moment and stared at the darkness within him. A voice broke him out of his thoughts. A voice that was as dark as his, but only deeper and more husky.

"Who is, _little brother? _A girl, perhaps?"

His eyes quickly shot up and blinked twice before seeing his brother before him. A dark-blue polo and dress pants accentuating the whole-being of his body.

"None of your business, Itachi."

The man, _Itachi, _chuckled deeply and slid his hands in his pockets.

"I think it is _my _business too, little brother. You might need some help with something."

Sasuke sighed, _he was so right. _

"You see... Her name's Sakura and..."

* * *

**Did you like it? Ha, I really hope you did, it took me like, three edits just to get this right. And I'm sorry about the last chapter, I know it sucked. So I hope this one's okay. **

**Anyways, please review for my Christmas presents you guys. **

**Sorry about the stupid cliff-hanger there, I couldn't think of anything else. **

**I guess you have to wait for like, three to four days. Maybe five or six, but we'll see. **

**By the way, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS YOU GUYS! I LOVE YOU ALL AND YEAH...

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**

**OWARI  
**_((.end of chapter four.))_**  
**


	5. Chapter 5: Condoms? Cheating? Hell Yes

**Lesbianism**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto, okay?

**Author's Notes: **Ta-da! Say hello to chapter five and I think I was kind of... early? Well a little, maybe, a few days to spare. Only because of my amazing free time. By the way, before you hit that scroll button, make sure you watch out for more Sasuke OOC's, a few... sexual stuff (but no sex yet) and... that's it perhaps. Oh and a few brotherly harassment. But that's what brothers do right?

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**Chapter Five: Condoms? Cheating? Hell Yes.  
**

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"Condoms? Itachi are you really sure? Sakura and I aren't really... _in that kind of level._" Sasuke wasn't a guy to question people, or really say at least one sentence that doesn't include the word (_or grunt_) **hn. **

Itachi just chuckled, clapping the shoulder of his infamous (_and may I add, foolish_) little brother. "Yes, I know that Sasuke. But, you know what I told you about the four stages. First is rivalry, second is friendship, third is flirt, and fourth is-"

"Yeah I know, relationship and sex. But, Sakura and I are still in the... first stage, I guess." His eyes trailed down to the yellow box of Trojan condoms. Then his eyes soon built up to the eyes of crimson eyes.

"Well, it can't hurt to carry some in your pocket, can't it Sasuke?" He heard the sigh of his little brother and chuckled quietly. It wasn't like his little brother to ask help from him. Especially _relationship _help. Sasuke has his own pride, but this time, his pride was set aside and come to help. His conscience was probably crying of death because of the unusual signs of Sasuke right now.

But, you can't control your hormones, can't you?

Sasuke stood up from the roots of the tree, to climbing the large and thick branches. His eyes still remained on the older copy of himself. "You know Sasuke, you can't _jump _from your hormones." Itachi stated, dully, as if it was really obvious. Sasuke put on his glare and quickly snapped, "I am not jumping from my hormones!"

"Then what are you doing?" The older Uchiha challenged.

"I don't know! You know I'm not good with this... _relationship _crap and stuff! That's why, I've got a hell of a brother like you to help me! And guess what, stating the four stages crap and giving your little brother a box of Trojan condoms isn't really helping!" Itachi raised a perfectly good brow, as Sasuke jumped off the tree and faced the gates of the school. His eyes were glaring as if they could burn through anything.

Itachi wasn't the one to give up though, he was like the one who looks like he'll give up, but he really has something up his sleeve.

And these are those times.

Then the (_wonderfulamazing_) bell rung and Sasuke turned his head toward the school.

"We'll talk later, Sasuke. I'll pick you up at four." Then he walked away.

Just like that.

* * *

Sasuke came in the school with the stares intense. He just ignored them and walked towards the room.

His face though, was fierce (_as Tyra Banks would say_) but it would scare the hell of little kids ages two to six. That's just a little warning.

"Sasuke-Kun?" A voice came from behind, and guess who? It was the wonderful Karin. Karin Akahana; junior, co-leader of the Uchiha Sasuke fan club, red-head, eerily tempered, playgirl, and of course, number one slut of the school.

Oh joy.

"Go away."

"Why did you kiss, _her_?" She demanded as she pointed across the hall with a manicured (_blue;with the uchiha symbol_) french tip. Sakura hastily stared and was in (_deepshit_) shock.

She hurriedly ran away.

_Tch, you can't run away from me, you will be mine._ He thought, and walked away from the crowd of girls forming, along with the fuming red-head with glasses.

* * *

Literature was just a bore for Sakura, but she wasn't all lonely. On her right was Naruto and on her left (_much to her disgrace_) was Sasuke. The guy she was least expecting.

Deidara-Sensei just had to have a stupid seating arrangement. And he just had to sit Sakura next to the dumb(_est_) blond in school and an ass that was turning her on.

Oh the joy of Thursdays.

"And Miss Haruno," She turned her head on the board and Deidara gestured her to stand up, "So, could you tell me the author of Gulliver's Travel?"

_Shit, shit, shit, oh my God. I know this guy... It's John... No wait, Jone. No uh..._

"Jonathan Swift, sir." Sasuke answered before she could even _think _of a decent answer. She stared at him with an open mouth; while his face was blank and was completely, pokerfaced.

Wow. _I cannot believe he just did that to me. _

"Hm, Sasuke." His eyes trailed to the blond teacher in front of him, face blank. "Answer your own question, as of you Miss Haruno," his face turned to an ever-shocked Sakura, "Please answer a little faster, so Mr. Uchiha here wouldn't jump to the answers, hm?"

They both nodded, well, Sasuke's head was completely still.

Then again, after an hour, the bell rang.

* * *

History was a drag though, it was not as boring as Lit.

Only because the teacher (_Itachi-Sensei_) was really, super nice. And he made the students (_mostly girls_) feel good.

Plus, he was always smiling, the total opposite of Sasuke, which Sakura soon found out that they were brothers.

Yeah, the second he walked in the room and she was like, "Oh my God, Sasuke, there's two of you!"

And then the second he turned around and saw that he had a ponytail, she thought otherwise. And whispered to Naruto, "Sasuke has a twin?"

And the moment Naruto heard that, he tried to hide his giggle fit, "No, Einstein. He has a brother. A big brother."

Wow, Naruto (_the school idiot_) actually out-dumb her. Well, this wasn't going as it planned.

But apart from that, she had an okay hour with History. She got called up randomly, and she answered it with ease, earning a (_superhotsupersexy_) smirk and smile. And caused her to blush and stammer at the next question. Complete embarrassment.

Itachi, though, loved her company and intelligence in this class. And thought her embarrassment was adorable. _No wonder little brother would like her, she's as sweet as the color of her hair. _He smiled as he thought this, it wasn't like his coldhearted, monosyllabic brother would like this _warm_hearted, talkative type of girl. _How cute. _

**RIIIIIIING!**

Yes, and the bell rung, it was time for students to carry on to the next period.

**

* * *

**

As the second bell ended, students were happily chatting their way in room 204. Sakura, however, still dumbstruck on what happened at lunch. She was hopefully ending for the end of the day. Which is in, two hours tops.

And sadly, Pre-Calculus wasn't her best subject last year.

And maybe, this year wouldn't get any better as well.

_Sigh. _

Anyways, as soon as she landed on the desk, right next to the window. Then after a good three minutes Asuma-Sensei was in the room with a cigar on the right corner in his mouth. As usual.

Sakura, since she was new, thought that was kind of _weird _to have a teacher smoke inside a room. Especially a room filled with healthy students.

"Yeah, afternoon class. Please be seated," he mumbled as he let down his book bag and grabbed out papers.

Not just any papers, _quiz _papers.

"Pop quiz," he said bored and passed out the white sheets of paper one-by-one on each student. Sakura trembled as she examined the paper that just had landed on her desk. She looked at it in disgust.

**(2) _Let A=(3,1), B=(7,-4) , and C=(10,9)._**

"What the asdfghjkl...? I never heard of this shit...? Oh damn." She quietly whispered to herself and stumped her head on the desk. Sasuke saw this scene and pushed his test paper on the left arm of the pink-haired girl.

Sakura stared at him in surprise. He smirked in return. "Just copy from me." He mouthed and she understood perfectly.

She desperately looked at his answers. She smiled and copied them off lickity-split. She smiled and mouthed him a sweet "Thank You" before passing him back the papers.

_I can't believe... He actually did something... Nice.

* * *

_

**Ta-Da! Sorry if the chapter was really lame, and I hate to end it there. But, I had to just because. Sorry if Sakura wasn't in her _abrasive _side, but she was in shock when Sasuke kissed her during lunch. **

**Anyways, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

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**

**OWARI.  
**_((.end of chapter five.))_


	6. Author's Note: Prior Notice!

**Author's Note!**

**Prior Notice:**

Hey readers, I'm really sorry I haven't updated for months, please forgive me dearly.

First of all, you can blame school work. I haven't been doing well in school during the late of November until the early February. So my mom made me do tutoring after school, for two hours. During the weekends my mom doesn't let me near my laptop because she has been noticing my addiction to it. So I was totally packed.

During March, it was the most bizarre month out of all the months in my whole life. First, there were projects due in a week, assignments that really had to be done, tests that needed to be passed, and books that needed to be studied. And there were exams too. After that, it was summer and I oh-so-thankful for that! Then, after two weeks, we get to see our report cards. And I was so bitched out about my History teacher, that little fucker! She gave me a failing grade for the second semester! After my painful hard work the fucking projects, quizzes, assignments, and all that shit, she failed me! Mom grounded me, and thought I was goofing off on my laptop whilst she was gone.

Ugh.

I'm really, really, really, really, really sorry; please give me until Friday to update the Chapter six of Lesbianism! I promise! For those who read The Modern Day Romeo and Juliet, wait for the next chapter on Friday too!

I promise this time, I will update every Friday for every chapter! Promise this time.


	7. Chapter 6: It's SO Nice to Meet You Tch

**Lesbianism **

**Disclaimer: **Really guys, we've been through this like a thousand times, I never owned Naruto.

**Author's Note: **I'm really sorry for the really long delay. I hate people who take long on chapters and I guess I hate myself too. I hope you don't hate me! So... here's chapter six. Hooray! Thanks for the reviews, and the people who liked my story very much. I like you too! And I like the people who still stuck to my story like glue. I love you all, and I will give you cookies!

...

Okay I ate them all, but I'll give you cookies next time!

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**Chapter Six: The Letter, The Cookies and The Neighbor**

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**RING!**

And there goes, a good hour of Pre-Calculus, ending the period with sighs of relief from the students, especially Sakura. Who was more than relieved, she was stumped (_and a little surprised_) considering she copied off of Sasuke's quiz paper, I mean, that was really nice of him.

It still made her wonder though, why would he do such a thing? Not that she was accusing anything from him, but she was just shocked. _I bet he was just trying to get my attention, or he was trying to make me fall for him. Tch, stupid, cocky, arrogant, __**(sexy) **__jerk!_

"Sakura?" A voice rang through her (_inappropriate_) thoughts, and guess who it was, Sasuke; the guy she least expected.

"Oh, uh... Hey, Uchihaa..." She awkwardly spoke to him, playing with the hem of her shirt, "Um... I-I have a question, and you better answer!"

He did his infamous (_sexyhotgoddamnirresistable_) smirk again and nodded his head slowly, his eyes not wanting to tear away from her (_beautifulgorgeous_) face.

Sasuke stared and looked at her for a question; a question that she had a hard time asking him (_all because of the Adonis face! Damn you Uchiha Sasuke!_). Finally she sighed and shrugged her shoulders, leaning on the chair for support; she completely spoke to him with confidence (_and with a shaking inner_).

"Why the hell did you help me cheat?"

He chuckled at her stupidity. Yes he thought she was stupid, why? Because it was obvious, too obvious. Can't she get the hints he was dropping? The clues that was on left on the track?

"Well? Anytime today, Mr. Stick-Up-My-Ass?" She snapped her fingers in front of him, yet he remains motionless.

He chuckled once again, pushing away her two fingers and remained as stoic as before. And after a few (_killer_) seconds, he replied, "You're so stupid, Haruno."

He kissed her forehead...

And he left.

He _left..._

He. Left.

He. **Fuckin. **_**Left.**_

"UCHIHA!"

* * *

He felt a bit guilty leaving her like that, but she'll figure it out once he drops more hints.

A big, loud honk soon interrupted his thoughts. He slowly turned and saw a familiar, silver Aston Martin One-77 right up the driveway. Nothing but girls surrounding the car as the owner stepped out.

"Hyuuga." The said man smirked and eyed the man right in front of him. "Uchiha, it is nice to see you again."

"Shut up." The man, with eyes of white, merely chuckled and couldn't really keep his mouth shut. Instead, he further talked to the boy, his pearls glowed with amusement.

"Such a greeting," he walked closer, and soon they were about ten inches apart. "I should expect from a disrespectful clan."

He growled, but still kept his stance and cool. He wouldn't want to be making a scene, again. "Is there anything you want, Hyuuga? Before you diss anything more about my clan,"

"Oh nothing, nothing," he scoffed, crossing his arms, "just wanting to say 'hello' to an old friend of mine. I wanted to tell you about the Konoha Private High School, it is... Absolutely amazing there."

Sasuke growled under his breath, it was always Sasuke's dream to study in KPHS, but instead, he was stuck here. That made his clan very, very disappointed, especially to his father, who had favoured Itachi more than Sasuke.

Sasuke was very intelligent indeed, he was also handsome, rich and extremely best at everything (_basketball, chess, even at cooking!_) But he had this one flaw, and this flaw was his temper. It was not just any other temper, but a really, really bad temper. That's what caused him to move here, the school for the bad boys (_and maybe girls_).

"How's life here, hm? Found a girlfriend, yet or did you kill another idiot?"

Sasuke couldn't help but be aggravated to the man, and grabbed him by the collar and started at him with his burning onyx eyes turning into fiery red; and people called it the Blazing Sharingan. They say that the Blazing Sharingan could transport you into your worst nightmares and it could haunt you until your funeral. Some people do say that they _create_ the nightmares and it _will _haunt you for days, weeks, even for months.

But it really wasn't true, none of it was true. Yet, there is a secret hidden between those red, vermillion eyes.

Just when Sasuke was about to punch the living daylights out of the boy with white eyes, a hand was placed on his shoulder, signalling him to stop. Sasuke ignored the hand's touch, while the hand squeezed his shoulder tighter.

He let go of the collar, and the Hyuuga fell to the ground.

"Neji," the man—which appeared to be Itachi—gestured the Hyuuga to leave. He bowed politely, "I guess I should leave, but I was going to tell you this,"

The Hyuuga handed Sasuke an envelope with his name on the back. "I think it's best if I leave, I will see you, very soon, I believe."

He bowed to the two Uchiha, and left to his car. The engine roared and soon it was out of site and in to the highway.

The youngest Uchiha eyed the document placed on his hands, it clearly was a letter but who was it from? It clearly scared him a bit, but at the same time, he was curious.

"Sasuke," the sixteen-year-old did not move his gaze away from the envelope, "Otouto, let's go home,"

Sasuke raised his stare from the envelope and looked to nowhere, "Hey aniki, what... what do you think is inside of the _letter_?"

The said man sighed; this was quite unusual, "I wouldn't know, I don't think I'd even want to know."

The younger one sighed this time, "Alright."

"Come on; let's go home before mother gets a stroke."

* * *

"And he just left? JUST LIKE THAT!" Ino was literally shouting at the top of her lungs and everyone (even _outside_) heard her. Hell, you could hear her at a twenty-mile radius.

Sakura sighed for the nth time, "Yes, yes he did Ino."

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT GUY THINKING!" Ino couldn't really keep her rage down, but it wasn't that big a deal. It was just that Sasuke Uchiha kissed her in the mid time of Lunch, let her copy off his answers for the pop quiz in Math, and left her in the middle of the classroom and kissed her forehead.

Okay, maybe it was a _big _deal.

"Ino-Pig, please, just ignore the fucking guy." Sakure restrained herself from slapping her own cheek. Okay so, she _can't _really ignore the guy. Maybe because he was _everywhere. _Or maybe because he was _following _her every _step. _Or maybe because he was to hot and—

Wait a minute. Did she just say hot?

Okay it's the truth, and the truth hurts. The guy is hot, really, really hot.

"So... Do you _like _him? Be honest, forehead!"

"Well—"

"Because I totally see you two together—"

"Pig!"

"—and it's totally adorable! I mean, opposites attract right!"

"Pig! GOD YOUR VOICE IS LIKE... LIKE..."

"Wow, nice comeback. I expected better from a tomboy." Sarcasm dripped from the words, and Sakura hates sarcasm (_not if she was saying it!)_

"Anywaaaaays, my house or your house?"

"Mine, and make sure you don't break anything with that voice of yours or my mother's going to have my head." Sakura started to head to the main doors and through the streets.

"Alright, alright forehe—Hey wait up!"

She ran right through the doors and eventually caught up with the rosette. Finally they stopped in front of a large house (_woaah!_)

"Forehead, you live here? You do know Sasuke lives nearby your house, right?"

_How could I know that!_

_I live near an egotistical bastard who clearly hasn't heard of the dictionary!  
_

_Grr. He's such a bitch. _

"No, and I don't plan to see him too," (sigh) "Come on, let's go up to my room before my throws cookies at you."

Ino blinks twice before rhetorically answering her statement, "Your mom bakes cookies? Are they good?"

Sakura doesn't want to lie, especially when it comes to her mom's cooking. And what her mom cooks (_and/or bake_) is amazing.

"I'm not going to lie to you Ino, but they are the best! I have clearly no idea what she puts in those,"

"Great, we have to get a batch!"

"Sure," Sakura reluctantly opened the door to her house, and smelled something good... Something like... Cookies. Yay!

"Mom, you baking cookies?" She asked, Ino and her peeking at the side of the kitchen, smelling the fragrance of the delicious chocolate chip cookies. Mmm... So good.

Her mom stepped out of the kitchen, still wearing her apron, holding a tray of cookies. "Actually I just finished—oh! Who's your friend, Saku-Chan?"

"Hi Mrs. Haruno! My name's Ino and as you can see; I'm already a big fan of your cookies!"

"Oh please, call me Hana, Ino-Chan! And grab a cookie; I have enough to feed an army!" Ino beamed and grabbed a cookie. After her first bite, her smile brightened and grab a handful of cookies and shoved it all in her mouth.

"Ino, you're going to look more like a pig if you keep doing things like that,"

"Moreheadmmmph!"

She laughed contently at her new friend's antics, "If you don't mind mom, we'll be taking the cookies and be doing the homework upstairs in my room,"

"Sure, sure," she said and handed the silver tray to them both.

"Oh by the way, I met someone today, her name's Mikoto," she rambled on, "and she'll be coming over! I heard she has a son about the same age as you, Saku-Chan!"

"Hmm... Really,"

"Anyways, I heard his name's—"

_Knock, knock, knock!_

"There she is!" She moved to door and revealed a woman who looked like she was at her late thirties' or early forties'. She had long hair, onyx eyes and probably the brightest smile in the world. Sakura and Ino looked at each other and then back to the woman. _She looks vaguely familiar... Like..._

"Hana-Chan!"

"Mikoto-Chan!"

"Ohayo Hana-Chan, look I brought my son with me, my youngest son!"

"Oh, and here's my daughter, Sakura!"

Sakura politely stepped near her mom, while the _youngest son _stepped right next to her mom. His head was down and his hands were on his pockets. He had spiky hair and black ones like—

Sasuke! _Is that you? IS THAT YOU?_

_His mom's practically a sweetheart, while he's... an Ass!_

_..._

_He must get it from his dad._

_Poor thing. _

"Oh Mikoto, he's handsome!" Her mom clasped her hands together and pinched the cheeks of the boy. He glowed bright pink, just a little. It was microscopic. Really tiny.

"Oh thank you Hana! But I must say your daughter is adorable! Just look at her pink hair— Oh and those pretty green eyes! She looks so innocent!" Sakura twitched inwardly. _She is **not **innocent!_

"So what's your name?" Sakura looked at the boy (_she knew she was Sasuke, she just loved to tease!_) with his face still down and his hands still in his pocket. When he didn't respond her mother slapped his arm.

"Hn, it's Sasuke." He glared at the girl.

* * *

**Sakura was right! It is Sasuke, *le gasp!**


	8. Chapter 7: Insanity in the Household

**Lesbianism  
**Sincerely (Louis) Vuitton

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto, period.

**Author's Notes: **I'm back, with a new chapter! And I really, really enjoyed writing this chapter all because... I was bored. I really finished this on Monday, but I promised you I'd upload on **Friday. **So all I had to do was wait. Oh and after you read the story, make sure to watch out for my new drabble stories. Just wait, it's not uploaded yet. It's called:** a memento of sasusaku classics.**

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**Chapter 7: Insanity in the Haruno Household**

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The man looked up from the (_interesting_) ground and looked at the woman in front of him. _Pink hair! Green eyes! Annoying smirk!_

_It could only mean one thing..._

_Sakura has a long lost twin! _

_..._

_Oh wait... That __**is **__Sakura..._

_..._

_Awkward._

"Sasu-Chan, I heard you and Saku-Chan are schoolmates, is it true?" His mother's voice struck throughout of his (_awkward._) thoughts. She was clearly trying to do matchmaker.

"Yes, mother and please," this time he spoke as quiet as a mouse, "don't call me that in public."

His mother's eyes saddened, as if she was trying to deceive him, "Oh Sasu-Chan, why couldn't I? You're my youngest child, aren't you? Besides, Ita-Chan is way to old already, so you're the only one I could adore!"

The three (_wait, what? three! that yamanaka's here too! no doubt she'll be telling that dobe his... uh... torture..._) woman giggled at his mother's antics and guess what? He was beyond embarrassed and couldn't help but blush, not in microscopic form, but maybe the size of his cheeks. It's pink too. _Sigh. _

"Aww Sasuke-kun! You look cute when you blush," the rosette (_who he clearly thought was sakura's long lost twin sister... itachi is right, he __**is **__foolish_) was clearly enjoying herself and smirking to no end. He finally gave up his blush and went back to his dark, brooding self, much to his mother's disappointment.

Her mother gently (_but with full force_) nudged his ribs causing him to grunt in pain. He eyed his mother, while she gave him the look that said, "Be nice to them or I'll embarrass you more".

"Anyways, not to break up the mother-and-son moment, but why don't you sit down and have some snacks. Saku-Chan, Ino-Chan, come and join us," the rosette and the blonde didn't have any trouble disagreeing to that. They clearly wanted to see Sasuke suffer more. Plus, they ran out of cookies.

"Oh yes, of course Hana-Chan," the dark-haired lady pulled Sasuke's grip and let him sit on one of the black leather couches. The woman with red hair instantly sat next to Mikoto and began chatting with her non-stop.

Sakura and Ino sat next to Sasuke, which means being him in the middle, being interrogated by annoying girls.

"So Sasu-Chan..." Sakura started, still plastered with that annoying smirk of hers.

"Don't call me that! It's bad enough my mother—"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Sasu-Chan. You shouldn't shout, especially to ladies." He heard his mother dearest call from the end of the couch. The two teenage girls laughed.

"Aww, letting your mommy rule over you, Sasu-Chan?" This time, it was Ino who spoke in a teasing voice.

"Shut it, Yamanaka." His voice was dripping with venom and as soon as he said Yamanaka, it looked like he was spitting acid.

"Sasu-Chan..." He heard his mother's voice again, this time it wasn't as sweet as sugar. It was now as sour as a lemon. "Apologize to Ino-Chan and Saku-Chan!"

"Sorry." He grumbled, but his glare still present. This was still not good enough for Mikoto, and so, she sent him a menacing glare.

"No, no, no Sasu-Chan, remember what I taught you?"

"Yes, mother." His head was bowed down. Really, was the ground that interesting?

"Good, now go tell them the apology that _I _taught you."

He hated this.

"'I'm really, really sorry for being an egotistical jerk. I promise to be nicer.'"

He _really _hated this.

Before he knew it, the girls were laughing their asses off.

"Oh don't worry, Sasu-Chan, after what you did to me today, I totally forgave you."

Suddenly, the two mothers' eyes glanced at the pink-haired girl. She smirked, Sasuke blushed (_microscopically_).

"Oooh tell me, Saku-Chan! What happened, what happened?" It was Mikoto who decided to break the certain glances at the... _couple. _

"Mother! That is definitely a _none-of-your-business _type of thing." Sasuke probably said the most words for that day.

"Oh, but Sasu-Chan, you and Saku-Chan look so cute together!"

"I definitely agree, Mikoto-Chan!"

Sasuke grumbled, wasn't Sakura embarrassed? She should be. But noo, she was giggling along with that dumb blond! Was he the only sane one this room?

"So... Sasu-Chan, would you still like for me to tell them? It's only fair that they know."

Sasuke thought for a moment. Unfortunately, he did a very wrong move.

"Ye—"

"Great! Mikoto-Chan, you wouldn't believe what he did to me at school! It was absolutely... _Shocking._"

The two eager mothers leaned forward to hear Sakura's words.

"He..."

"Yes?"

"He..."

"Tell us, Saku-Chan!" The two women asked her simultaneously.

"Well, he—"

"I asked her to be my girlfriend." He inwardly flinched. What was he thinking? HE DID NOT SAY THAT. All he did to Sakura all day was call her pinky, annoy her and kiss her for no reason. He basically ruined her day.

_Wrong move Uchiha, wrong move! Abort! Abort!_

"WHAT!" The two teenagers (_preferably blond and pink hair_) shouted in unison. Sakura, who was trying to strangle Sasuke, was held back by Ino, using all of her force.

The two mothers however squealed in excitement. Dating leads to engagement, engagement leads to marriage, and marriage leads to babies! Cute green-eyed, black-haired boys and adorable, daddy's girl, onyx-eyed, pink-haired daughters! It was dreams come true... For them anyways.

"Sasu-Chan! I never knew you had it in you!"

"But Mikoto-Chan, he never—"

Sasuke quickly covered her mouth using his lips, after a short moment, they broke apart. He smirked, "She means, I never thought I would fall for a _beautiful _girl like you, Sakura-_Chan._"

Instead of blushing, she was furious, beyond pissed. How dare he call her _his _when she clearly had someone else!

_Get over that lesbo, you got a hunk of __**man **__right there in front of you saying he fell for your beautiful looks!_

"But alas, Sakura said she still couldn't get over the fact that _I, _Uchiha Sasuke, fell for her. Hard."

"WHAT! No—"

"Shh, Sakura-Chan, don't interrupt please. As much as I love to hear your beautiful voice, I clearly would _love _to explain to our mothers how we got _together. _As in a _couple._"

"We would love to, Sasu-Chan! Now Saku-Chan, stop interrupting!" Oh, so now her mother believed the guy next door and not her own daughter? Thanks a lot mother dearest. She is now humiliated.

Sasuke smirked. _Think of this as revenge, Haruno. _

"Well anyways, today at lunch I kissed her and she kissed (_lie!_). I asked her to be my girlfriend, and said yes right away."

_Nice story Uchiha, as if my mother will believe—_

"That is so adorable Sasu-Chan! Oh it's so romantic as well, don't you think so Hana-Chan?"

"Oh yes, definitely a yes!"

_I stand corrected, _her inner responded to her thoughts, _by an egotistical bastard. _

"So, when's the first date?" Sakura's mother asks, Mikoto nodded and they both leaned in to hear the answer from the raven-haired teen.

When Sasuke was about to answer, Ino (_that backstabbing bitch!_) responded in.

"Tonight!" Sasuke gave her a look of surprise, while Sakura glare at her and gave a her a look that said, "I thought you were on my side you blond idiot".

"That's why I came here to give her a makeover; she said she needed my help." Ino explained smugly, a little _too _smugly.

_That's it... THIS IS GOING TOO FAR._

"Uh, excuse us for a sec mom," After that, Sakura grabbed the blond's arm and dashed upstairs to her room. As soon as they arrived, she locked the door.

"WHAT THE HELL INO!"

"Sorry, I just thought this would be fun, you know,"

"FUN? HE BASICALLY HARASSED ME ALL DAY AND YOU CALL THIS FUN!"

"Sakura, Sakura, Sakura... He did not harass you, maybe he was flirting with you."

"FLIR—"

"Let me finish,"

"Mmmph, fine."

"Okay good enough. Aren't a least bit curious why he told his mom you're his girlfriend?"

Sakura looked at the blond as if she had grown three heads. Why would she be curious? He did that so he can annoy her!

"Nope."

"You mean not at all?"

"Nope."

"Pretty stupid of you, tomboy."

"HEY!"

"Just go to the date, Sakura," she complied, "you might actually discover something new about him."

Before Sakura could answer, her inner thoughts blocked her mouth from opening. Ino could be right; maybe she needed to know at least a pound of information from Sasuke. He can't always be a jerk... Okay that's a bit of an understatement, he always is a jerk. But maybe there's some kind of soft side to him.

"Okay Ino, fine."

"YES!" Ino excitedly yelped and ran to her mahogany closet. She opened the door and rummaged through her clothes. Throwing shirts, pants or whatever it is that she could find in there.

Finally, in the very back of her closet, a green, halter dress appeared in the very hands of Ino. She doesn't remember having that dress. Her mother must've bought a few days ago.

"Oh Sakura—this is perfect! The color definitely pops out your eyes and it slims you perfectly." Ino handed the dress to Sakura and she catches it with ease. Sakura looked at the dress whole. It was beautiful indeed. It was green (_as mentioned above_) and it had a halter top. Behind it were backless, revealing lots of skin as soon as she wore it.

"Wait here, I'll tell Sasuke to get ready!" Ino dashed out of the door and down to the steps.

After a few minutes, Ino arrived, probably with exciting news.

"He said he'll pick you up in an hour, and he even told you that it doesn't matter what you wear, you'll be beautiful anyways! Isn't that romantic?"

Sakura scoffed. Stupid corny line, it wasn't romantic, it was plain lovesick. Ugh.

"No Ino, remember he's faking it."

Ino sighs, it was actually good for Sasuke to finally like someone, but alas he was faking it. So sad.

"Yeah, yeah, anyways! Take a shower! You smell like shit," Ino swatted her hand side to side, showing she was not a bit pleased to Sakura's smell.

Sakura smelled her armpits, and caused great shock to Ino.

"Forehead! That wasn't very ladylike!" Sakura just snorted. _Yeah, so? I don't smell anyways! _

"Don't do that too!"

"Do what?"

"SNORT! DUH!"

Sakura scoffed this time, Sasuke wouldn't care anyways. It's only a _fake date. _It's not like he had feelings for her anyways.

"Come on, take a fucking shower already, forehead! It's not going to kill you anyways."

"Alright, alright. Sheesh." And with that, Sakura trotted to the bathroom.

* * *

**Finished! **

**A/N: **Do you like it? I enjoyed making it myself. Review please, the button gets very lonely.

I know you're very anxious for the _fake date. _So am I, but I absolutely have no idea what the hell to put in it.

By the way, I really love reviews. And if there are reviews more than ten, I'd upload the next day, I swear. I really hate it when some people are actually nice enough to tell me to update and compliment me, but please, I want more.

I'm not forcing you to _review_ but if you had the time, I would've really liked it if you did.

Bye for now!


	9. Chapter 8: The Fake Date Begins!

**Lesbianism **

Sincerely (Louis) Vuitton

**prompt: **My date with a friend.

**dedicated to: **My sister, her birthday was yesterday! Happy birthday Onee-Chan!

**a/n: **I'm really getting the hang of this updating thing. Okay, enjoy!

**disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto, period.

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**chapter oo8: the fake date part 1**

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"Saku-Chan! Are you ready yet?" Her mom called from downstairs, and it was clearly annoying her. She kept asking that every five minutes!

"JUST A MINUTE MOM!" Sakura nearly choked when the yelled.

"SAKU-CHAN, STOP SHOUTING!"

"MOM WHY DON'T YOU STOP IT SO WE'LL BOTH STOP!"

"... WHAT?"

(Sigh.)

"Okay Ino before my mom loses her voice box, let's... get to work, I guess." Ino squealed, "Oh Sakura-forehead, at least be a little excited! I mean, you're dating the _hottest, sexiest _and _most insanely gorgeous hunk of man _in Konoha High School, at least be enthusiastic about this."

Sakura thought for a moment and then...

"Woo hoo."

Ino glared, _Jeez, what a schnook. Wait... What is a schnook? _"Very funny billboard brow, I can see the excitement leaking out of your forehead."

"Whatever pig."

Ino sighed; this was probably the hardest girl to work with. She wasn't like a _girl _at all. She's a _tomboy, _or better yet, a _lesbian. _And this lesbian had no skirts, wore _boxers _for underwear (_I know, eww right?_) and basically has no idea what's the difference between panties _and _boxers. It's totally different things!

_Maybe Sasuke can go gay and date Sakura; they'll be the perfect pair! _

Ino inwardly snickered at that thought; Sasuke, being... gay? Flipping his hair to the side flirtatiously, wearing nail polish, skirts, bras—

Okay that went too far, ERASE.

"Hello, hello, HELLO PORK CHOP ARE YOU THERE?"

Sakura's voice disrupted Ino's (_disturbing_) thoughts, and maybe bonked her on the head too hard.

"HEY!"

Insert Sakura's evil snicker here, "So sorry piggy."

Ino sighed, _again, _and went back to regaining her normal composure, meaning hands on her hips and eyes darted at Sakura's body (_not a perverted way... jeez, the nerve of some people here!_).

"Okay, so, anywaaays, which do you, think should be first: Hair—" The blond lifted the hair dryer and iron curler, "Make-Up—" she carefully dropped the hair dryer and curler and picked up lipstick, mascara and a blush-on, "Or... Dress?" She carefully dropped the make-up equipment and lifted up the green halter top dress.

Sakura (_pretended, I swear!_) looked thoughtful, after a minute she finally answered,

"None of the above."

She turned her heel and jumped five feet to the bed. She spread her arms like a starfish and laid her head on the soft, blue plush pillow.

"UGH FOREHEAD YOU... YOU'RE TOTALLY HOPELESS!"

Ino sighed... again. Grr. It was all Sakura's fault. She just _had _to be a stupid lesbian. She just _had _to love the same orientation as her.

"So? Fuck off, Piggy."

Ino growled menacingly, "No Sakura, I will not, _fuck off. _You will go to this date, you will enjoy it, **and **you will be a _girl. _A normal girl, who wears PANTIES, skirts, heels." Sakura snorted, "And what if I don't, boar?"

"Then I will—" She looked around the room for any kind of item that will be used for black mail and then she found it, the perfect item.

She lifted the item up teasingly, "Or I will rip this teddy."

She taunted the rosette, who was fully alive this time, and swung the bear side to side.

She grabbed the two ears using her two hands and slowly, she started to riiip the top of the poor bear's head, causing great grief to the pink-haired girl.

"PUT THAT DOWN PIG. I SWEAR I WILL SKIN YOU IF YOU—"

_Riiiiiiiiip. _

"AHH INO, OKAY, OKAY! JUST PLEASE DON'T RIP MY TEDDY-BOO! ASDFGFHJGLHKK..."

Ino laughed menacingly and showed off an evil smile towards Sakura. The blond threw the nearly-ripped stuffed toy to the bawling girl in the corner. She stepped forward and grabbed the hairdryer on her left hand.

"Get ready to experience, salon Ino."

Even if you're a thousand miles away, you could hear Sakura's bloodcurdling scream.

Downstairs, Sakura's mother was busy reading her magazine and sipping her tea. Everything was fine until she heard a Banshee scream.

"..."

"Hmm, must be the wind." Hana remained impassive and went back to sipping her green tea.

Ten minutes has passed and Ino has finally finished drying Sakura's hair while calming her down. Next step was to turn the lifeless hair in a bun and leave the unnecessary bangs in curls.

She, Ino had to admit, is going to look drop-dead _gorgeous. _

"INO! Stop staring into space and let's get a move on already!"

Ino snapped out of her trance and went back to tying Sakura's pink locks in to a neat bun. It took a while, but it looked nice in the end.

All that's left to do is to curl the falling hair, and she did. The process took five to seven minutes, meaning it's time for...

"MAKE-UP!" Sakura's face turned in to complete horror, as if she has seen the grudge. And right now, she's looking at it. The _grudge _had blond hair, blue eyes and a terrifying smile.

_Gulp. _More like, evil smile.

"I-Ino, just please, please, _please _don't go overboard on the make-up. Just maybe the stick lip or the gloss lippy thing. Or maybe just the thing you put on your eyelashes to make them dark or... what's it called? Mascare... Marcara... Whatever!"

Ino's eyes widened. Seriously, this girl has never heard of _make-up? _

...

Freakish little forehead girl.

Ino slowly walked towards her light pink make-up box. As soon as she grabbed it, she opened and eyed the contents. She got a red lipstick, mascara, blush, and light brown eye shadow. And since she figured Sakura would be the perfect rebellious type, she grabbed the items used for the smoky-eye treatment.

Currently, Sakura was staring in the mirror with wide eyes. She was playing with a curl. She looked at the mirror before turning to Ino again.

Personally, Sakura thought she was _beautiful. _Well, her mother and father has called her beautiful, but she wouldn't have imagined herself to be that beautiful.

Of course, because she is a lesbian, she was dressed a boyish fashion. Wearing jerseys that were too big for her and manly t-shirts.

But now, she was looking at _something. _A _something _that had curly pink hair that would never be mistaken for a lesbian.

"Sakura! Let's get to work, shall we?" 

Ino disrupted her thoughts from the time being. She really didn't want to discuss and argue much with her thoughts.

Ino moved slightly towards Sakura. Carefully, she opened a compact powder and picked up brush. Ever so slowly, she dipped the brush on to the lightly colored powder and spread it all over Sakura's face.

After a while, she finished. And soon she started on the eyes.

Ino didn't have any trouble dressing up her eyes, Sakura's emerald pearls were quite an eye-catcher. They were innocent, yet seductive in a way.

Eventually, Ino was on to the mascara. After telling Sakura to look up, she professionally applied the mascara.

Lastly, the lipstick. This was Ino's favourite part, she didn't know why though, but she loved applying the lipstick nonetheless.

Twenty minutes of silence was completely awkward, to Ino at least. Sakura hasn't spoken a word; she thought the rosette would be begging to stop her, but she didn't. It's as if Sakura had done this her whole life (_but she hasn't, mind you!_).

"Sakura! What's the matter, you've been... so quiet. It makes me feel awkward."

"Shut up, pig."

Sakura has returned to normal, sadly pushing the past thoughts.

"Let's just get this over with so I can date that lover boy."

Ino smiled half-heartedly.

She trotted over to the place where she hung the green dress.

"Here forehead, put it on."

Sakura grunted but took the dress anyways. After a few struggles, she managed to put the dress on.

When she came out, it seemed like the angels were singing and God truly loves her right now.

Ino imagined Sakura to be ill-fitted to the dress, but it was perfect. The green satin dress had a slim v-neck and a daring slit to the side; it was the shade of emerald, somehow matching Sakura's green eyes.

Sakura put on the heels that Ino preferred to her. It was high, she had to admit, but it also made her look taller and somewhat sexier.

She moved probably as slow as a slug; mainly because she might rip the dress or trip in those _sadistic _heels.

Ino accompanied her and taught her how to walk; she memorized the process.

_Toe, heel, step. Toe, heel, step. Toe, heel, step. _

After a few minutes of practice-walking, she finally got the hang of it.

"Great progress, forehead! Now, go look at yourself at the mirror and _j'adore _your ah-fucking-mazing self."

Sakura hesitated at first, screaming at Ino with words like, "No way Ino, I might look like a drag queen" or "No thanks Ino, I might go blind" or to put it bluntly, she disagreed.

But Ino was a girl who took the words _no, _as a distraction.

She gently pushed Sakura to the full view mirror.

Sakura looked at the mirror. She turned a full circle and smiled. _Who was this girl? Is she the same girl who fell in love with..? Okay, I'm ignoring those thoughts. _

But Sakura had to admit, she looked goddamn gorgeous.

Downstairs, Hana was sipping tea and reading the _Mothers Monthly _magazine. Sakura was taking long, and Sasuke could be—

_Knock, knock, knock. _

Ah, there he is. Two seconds after six and he was there on the spot.

"Sasu-Chan, please come in," she gestured the man to sit on the black leather couch, "I apologize for my daughter being late, you know—"

"Ahem, mom I'm ready!" A voice descended from the staircase.

Both adult and teen abruptly stood up and faced the female voice.

Sasuke couldn't help but open his mouth an inch and reveal shock.

_Is this... Haruno Sakura?_

**A/N: **You thought I was going to stop here? No way! Keep reading!

"Hey Sasuke-kun," she smiled a bit and moved to the man agape. She flirtatiously kissed his cheek and slung to his arm.

Knowing that he was awake and not dreaming, he moved from his gaped look to an equally flirtatious smirk. He buried his face not too far from his cherry blossom's ear and whispered, _"You look beautiful, seriously." _

Sakura didn't blush, but I'm sure every other girl on this planet would have died and gone to heaven. She just smirked and whispered back, _"Well, you look incredibly sex-y." _Stressing the word 'sexy', Sasuke couldn't fight back a blush.

Hana just cooed at the looks they were giving each other. She took out the camera (_and the flash_) and...

_Click! _

The two refrained from flirting with each other to the sound of the click. Sakura frowned, "Mooom!"

Hana giggled like young school girl, "So sorry dear, but I just had to do it. Mikoto-Chan wanted to see a picture of you together."

Sakura bit her tongue, in order to prevent the string of curse words. Sasuke, with Sakura still in his arms, whispered a few gentle words in order to keep Sakura calm.

"(Sigh) Alright Sasuke-kun, shall we go now?" 

Sasuke quietly chuckled, "We shall."

"I'll see you later mom."

And with that, they left.

Sasuke, seeing that Sakura was having a hard time walking in the killer heels, walked mildly and slowly, her hand in his.

Her free hand though was carrying the skirt of the dress and maybe covering her legs from the open slit.

After a few minutes, they walked to Sasuke's Porsche Carrera GT.

"So... Where do you want to eat?"

Sasuke shrugged. He wasn't good with these date things anyways. "Wherever you may please, I guess."

Sakura lit up and took his arm, "Then I know I great place we can eat!" 

Sakura and Sasuke moved in the Porsche and they were in awkward silence. Sakura didn't know how to bring up a conversation, only because Sasuke would answer in grunt forms and maybe the typical shrug, so she stayed quiet and only answered when he asked directions.

Sasuke, however, didn't feel too good about the silence. It was too _awkward. _He was used to Sakura's chatter and babbles, sometimes even her rants.

"So,"

"So? What now, Uchiha?"

"Dunno."

They were silent again.

A few minutes later, they arrived at a petite restaurant named, Cafe Italiano.

"Alright so let's eat and get this over with," Sasuke mumbled and pulled Sakura's wrist towards the glass doors of the restaurant. Sakura—knowing she was wearing incredibly high heels, took small steps and quickly moving her pace faster.

"Okay, okay, just a minute, I'm wearing heels you know!" Sasuke just gave her a smirk. "Whatever pinky, just... move or something."

Sakura cringed at the nickname; she was never fond of the color pink. Her favourite colors were always red, black and maybe the occasional green.

"Stop calling me that you lying bastard!"

Sasuke chuckled.

They entered the restaurant and the first they heard were the bustling and chatter of city folk. Many were dressed like them, some were dressed casual.

A waiter came and he had eyes for Sakura, noticing this, Sasuke pulled the rosette to his side, leaning his face on Sakura's pink hair.

"Excuse me; I have a reservation for, Uchiha."

The waiter, still not getting the fact that Sakura is (_sorta, maybe, a little_) Sasuke's girlfriend, aimlessly flirted.

"Aren't you a beautiful thing?"

Sakura giggled, not blush though. She was used to _not _blushing. Sasuke though, growled at the man who was flirting with _his _woman, yes that's right, _his _woman.

"I said: **I have a reservation under Uchiha.**"

The waiter looked at the raven-haired sixteen-year-old and scowled, "You're not very polite, aren't you? You could say please, chicken ass."

...

_Twitch. _

_Twitch. _

_Punch._

"Alright, alright, sheesh. I'll stop flirting with your girlfriend," Sasuke still growled, and maybe he still glared, "And I won't call you chicken ass!" 

"Hn," his trademark word replaced his anger and so, he smirked and grabbed Sakura by the waist and buried his face on the side of her hair, just like his earlier actions.

_This will probably be the most interesting date I've had in months, _Sasuke smirked.

**A/N: **Tada! Finished, the make-up and the dressing up took long but... It was all worth it! Sakura looked pretty anyways, right? Anyways I got the links of what Sasuke and Sakura wore in the date, plus Sasuke's awesome car.

Anyways... You know how those other authors make Naruto characters speak in the author's notes? Yeah, I'm going to try that.

Okay... Naruto, since you're the main character of the anime, you say your first line.

**Naruto: Alright! I must rock, dattebayo!**

Say your line!

**Naruto: Geez, geez alright! Please review so I can get my ramen back!**

Awesome, see you soon! I'll be back, I promise!


	10. Chapter 9: Awkward Date Talk

**(**sincerely vuitton**)**

**prompt: **Dates, because they are awzm.  
**dedicated to: **My friend, she was the one who made the first part of **lesbianism **chapter nine.  
**warnings: **Sasusaku fluffiness. And Sasuke being flirty.  
**disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto, period.

**the (**beautiful**) authoress notes: **Look I know you guys want to kill me and all because I have updated late and stuff, I'm sorry. It's because of this five-day trip (there was a delay), my mom got surgery (yeah, but she's okay now), enrolment, me getting the nature's monthly subscription, me getting sick, and my dad losing $20,000. Yes, it's all true. Oh and I lost chapters 1-5 of Lesbianism. That was probably a really bitchy week.

Oh and by the way, I've change the chapter title of chapter eight to: **the fake date begins! **Just so you know. Enjoy the show! (Hey that rhymes!)

* * *

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**lesbianism  
**chapter nine. awkward date talk

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* * *

Anyways, I'm here and I am alive (but the cramps suck though).

"Oi, Haruno, before you catch flies in your mouth you have to sit down on our table first." Sakura scowled, _stupid bastard. Doesn't he know that not all people could afford or even __**see **__a place like this? At least let me even gape at the place!_

"Oi, Haruno!"

"Sheesh, okay," she quickly sided beside him curling her arm around hers. They walked until they saw a table (_with the roses and the fancy plates, like the ones in the movies_) on the balcony, overlooking the Konoha bay under the stars. The moon was in full tonight, as if the night was meant for them (_well, falsely anyways. they weren't really dating_).

_Wow, _she quietly thought, _this is really nice. Duck-boy really went good this time—wait a minute! We're on a fake date not a real one!_

She quickly pushed her past thoughts and reverted to see Sasuke holding out a hand to her, smirking. _Damn him, he's hard to ignore for sure. _She debated for a moment before she could place her hand on his; and it felt warm and _right. _It was like wearing a glove, a warm glove (_one that's been dry-cleaned and fluffed._)

"It's nice Uchiha"—he scowled at this, he clearly wanted to be called something else rather than his surname—"I mean, Sasuke"—scowling again, this time she grunted—"Grr, alright. This is an amazing date, Sasuke... Kun."

He smirked in triumph. "Much better Sakura-_Chan_,"

Okay this time, she really couldn't control the blush that spread like the plague all over her cheeks.

_Damn this boy is one tough nugget. _

_..._

_Did I just say nugget?_

* * *

After their quite witty conversation, a waiter—the one that casually flirted with Sakura not too long ago—approached them and asked for their orders.

"Chicken cheese carbonara and iced tea for me," Sakura said after looking at the orders, the waiter smiled flirtatiously (_though, this did not get unnoticed by sasuke. seeing he's an overprotective date_).

So Sasuke—still scowling, since the damn waiter ruined just the start of their date—carelessly kicked the shin of the poor waiter and glared at him (_yes, fear the __**glare**_).

"I'll have the chicken spaghetti with sliced tomatoes, and water."

The waiter, still recovering from the kick (_and maybe the punch_), grunted and twitchingly wrote their orders on his blank note pad.

"What would your dessert be then?" Still flirting with Sakura with that smile of his (_man, does this guy ever take a damn hint?_)

Sakura was about to answer, yet Sasuke beat her to it, "How 'bout an 'I'll kick your ass if you keep flirting with her' ice cream and maybe an 'I'm going to chop off your balls' pie as well." Yes, glare, scowl, growl; typical Uchiha possessiveness.

The waiter glares too, but his makes a clown in comparison with Sasuke.

Sakura rolled her eyes. _Men these days, _she thought and went back to reality. She looked at the desserts section from her menu (_and maybe took a peak at the soup of the day category_) and found the perfect dessert. Hopefully Sasuke will like the choice.

"Can I order my—_our _dessert now?" She said impatiently. The two men finished their death glaring contest and turned to their center of attention. Sasuke tried to smile (_so you know, he can get Sakura's attention. his smiles always dazzle women—and maybe some men...)_

Finally, Sasuke cracked a smile. And **woah, **Sakura was shocked.

_Is that his smile? That's really hot! Oh my god, look at that __teeth__! And that... Hey am I blushing—and drooling! Well, I couldn't blame myself. His smirks were hot... But his smile is a million times better, shit, is that a puddle of my drool? God I have to stop thinking to myself. _

"Sa-Ku-Ra-_Chan..._" He started speaking, while the smile never left his beautiful aristocratic features. "Did I ever tell you how _beautifully amazing you look right now? _I absolutely adore you,"

She blushed—and cautiously wiped the drool on her lap—and somehow she kept her poise (_it wasn't working; she's like a caveman drooling over a meaty mammoth_).

Then she remembered, _I'm a lesbian, a fucking lesbian! Ignore the boy... Ignore, ignore, ignore..._

"So we'll have the cookies and cream pie, and could we have Crème de champignons, that's mushroom cream soup right? We'll have that for the soup of the day, thanks." She spoke that all without looking at Sasuke. He's still smiling, which was dangerous.

The waiter—clearly pissed because Sasuke has a much more dazzling smile than him—wrote them down, bowed (_and winked_) at the rosette and left.

After calculating on how long the dinner would take, he replied to the couple, "It will take around twenty to twenty-five minutes," And he left the couple alone. Which gives Sasuke the free access to **flirting the pretty blossom **train. Chooo, chooo.

...

"Saku-_Chan..._"

...

"Will you look at me cherry blossom?" _Oh God, it's my namesake... Ignore, ignore, ignore..._

...

"You know your legs look amazing in that slit."

Consciously, she looked at her left side and saw that almost all (_save for her underwear, thank God_) left leg was exposed. She tried to cover the leg, but Sasuke's hand beat her to it.

"No, no, I want them to see that only _I _could see sexy, toned legs."

Blush.

"Sh-Shut up, Uchiha—!" Before she could retort, his warm lips landed on hers. And it felt good, too good.

_I want to throw him of the balcony, but he kisses so well! Much better than a girl... No cherry chap stick there!_

She responded to the kiss feverishly and slid her slender arms to his neck, whilst her wrapped his muscled arms protectively on her waist.

They were like that for a minute or two, so after a while; they finished and cut off their passionate making out. But Sasuke just wasn't fully satisfied. Subsequently, he moved his hungry lips to her ear lobe (_whispering oh-so-sexy words! oh la, la!_), then to her cheek, to her jaw, and before she knew it, he was sucking on her neck (_like a hungry vampire... mmm._)

"Mmmm... Uchiha... Mmmm, okay st-stop... ASDFGJHJKKL STOP ALREADY!"

It was romantic at first—because they were kissing passionately and all, but then the latter part was an utter (_and epic_) failure.

"What's the matter Sa-ku-ra—"

"Okay stop with the syllabication! You're flirting with me!"

He chuckled amusedly, "What do you think boyfriends do to girlfriends, Sakura-Chan? Just stare and smile? Sorry, but I would want to be a good boyfriend."

_Oh, that's it after all—WAIT A MINUTE..._

"We're not even dating, Uchiha-boy! This is fake, all of this is false, remember!" She screeched and yelped, while waving her arms all around in the process, this caused the people around the restaurant to watch the attention-grabbing pair.

He chuckled, completely amazed at her humorous charm. "Oh Sakura-Chan, you shouldn't yell, people are staring at _our _privacy."

Sakura was red, _really _red (_not because she was blushing, oh no, she was pissed. beyond __**pissed.**_)

"Oh you egotistical bastard, if you don't stop flirting right now I will cut off your balls, put them in a bottle, and throw them to your fan girls." She was staying completely calm, but of course she had an inner that was bursting in flames, like a flame-thrower.

"Mhmm." He probably ignored her.

"ASFGVGHEGTFHSVD—"

"Excuse me," it was the waiter (_you know, the Sakura fan boy, guy with a cute smile but not as stunning as Sasuke's_) who _butted _in to Sakura's unwanted rant curses.

"Your dinner is ready," he cautiously (_seeing it was glass and all_) placed the plate of **chicken cheese carbonara **on Sakura's side, and the **chicken spaghetti with sliced tomatoes **on Sasuke's. Then the two plates of **crème de****champignons **were placed on the side of the main course. Lastly their drinks were allocated on the front of the dish, and the food was served.

"Thank you," Sakura reverted back to her old self, calm and collected. But then she remembered her dessert order, "Uh, what happened to the dessert we ordered? You know the **chocolate covered strawberry cheesecake**?"

The waiter changed in to a thinking pose and pulled out his notepad and read the small message at the end, "It will be served momentarily, in the mean time, please enjoy your meals."

And he left them with the delicious food on their plate.

The fifteen minutes that they spent was awkward to explain at the least, but since I am the amazing narrator, I shall explain it the best that I can, starting with Sakura's weird twitching.

_Twitch._

...

_Twitch._

"Sakura-Chan stop twitching, you look stupid, and you know I hate to call you that."

"Quit with the acting, Uchiha boy."

"I'm not acting; I'm merely expressing my love to you, sweet _cherry blossom._"

...

_Twiiiitch._

Sakura almost had a spasm from all the twitching and decided to stop, turning her attention to the well-prepared food.

As soon as Sakura had her first bite it was like _sex _(_don't look at us, she said the sex thing_) in her mouth.

She was moaning (_and Sasuke was secretly turned on... as fast as a night light_) at the exemplary taste of the moan. She took more bites and the moans went _louder. _Sasuke wanted to ignore this, but _damn _she was too sexy (_for him_).

She also said stuff that you could only hear in porn sites, like for example:

"Mmm, oh God yes, this is amazing!"

Amazingly perverted.

Sasuke turned on even more.

And I, the amazing narrator, feels even more awkward writing stuff like this. I mean, I'm only fourteen for Gods' sakes and_—_

_Ahem. _

Anyways.

On Sasuke's side, he ate the soup first. Then, he munched on the spaghetti, savouring the delectable taste in his mouth (_but he wasn't moaning of course. he was, after all, uchiha sasuke, and he does not moan—in public_).

He finished early, and saved the sliced tomatoes on the side of his plate. And since he loved tomatoes very much, he eats them without anything (_uchihas' roll like that_).

Sakura, however, still was ruminating (_and maybe moaning_) on her food; obviously she was enjoying it. As well as the soup too, since she was the one who chose it.

"Oh God, this is so amazing! I love this stuff; it's like sex on a plate—"

_Oh shit, did I just say that out loud? _

...

Okay that really got Sasuke turned on.

With a bulge down his pants...

_Oh snap._

* * *

**a/n: **Sorry for the whole 'sex' mention thing on the end, but I do love making things awkward—

**Sakura: Is it my turn yet?**

No, let me finish my rant!

**Sakura: (Sigh) FINE.**

Okay so, sorry for the 'sex' mention thing... blah, blah, I love making things awkward on a date, especially for Sasuke and Sakura. And Sasuke flirting is so cute right? I squealed the whole time writing that. Anyways, I know I'm a week late and I'm sorry, it was a busy past week and I'm SORRY.

Cookies and cupcakes for everyone, and maybe some ramen too.

...

Sakura!

**Sakura: SORRY! Please review so Sasu-Cakes can kiss me on the next chapter! (Squeal)**

Very good, so you heard what the girl said, REVIEW so she can achieve a kiss!


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